I tend to have a rather laissez-faire attitude towards other people’s action, unless it’s harmful or venal or otherwise stupid. Why can’t I get the same courtesy? And it’s always the little stuff that gets on my nerves.
Item: I ride my bike part of the way to work, then catch a bus most of the rest of the way (to get past a hill I cannot make without being all sweaty for work), placing my bike on the bus. So, the other day, someone asked me why would I ride my bike when the forecast in the afternoon was so lousy, with a probable rainstorm? And it sounded rather accusatory, in the “What were you thinking?” mode. And she’s not the first person to ask the question.
Well, here’s the answer:
1. If it’s raining, I’ll just put the bike on the bus ALL the way home.
2. The forecast is occasionally wrong, and if I didn’t bike when rain is projected, I’d almost NEVER ride.
3. The storms generally strike around 4 pm, and I don’t go home until 5:30.
As it turned out, we had two wicked storms, one at 2 pm, and another around 4:15. It was still raging at 5:15, but by the time I left, it had abated, and I rode half the way home, per usual.
Item: it’s really hot at a rehearsal. I go to the bathroom, pour cold water over my head. Someone notices the residual water and asks about it. “Why would you do that? why wouldn’t you just go outside?”
1. The effect of the outdoor coolness would dissipate as soon as I came back in, whereas
2. The cold water stayed in my hair for several minutes, keeping me cool for an extended period.
There are a couple other examples, but you get the idea.
I get the sense that these folks meant to be helpful, though they tend to sound judgmental. But I didn’t NEED help, didn’t ASK for help. If/when I do, I’ll be sure to make my desire for help known.
I’ve noted that others have the same type of problem. one friend unfriended someone on Facebook who accused her of “playing'”at 2 a.m. when she was working. And had she been playing, who was he to judge?
Arthur made an interesting observation:
“I have a simple pop culture mantra that I often repeat as a sort of caution for others because it’s kept me out of social media trouble: Everything you love, someone else hates; everything you hate, someone else loves. So, relax and like what you like and forget about everyone else.
“There’s nothing wrong with choosing to stay out of pointless squabbles on purely subjective matters of taste. We all have far more important things to worry—and fight—about.”
I note this because some blogger I know personally suggested that the duo Hall & Oates SUCKED and that only people who liked them did so ironically. Gee, I have no idea how to like something “ironically.” I noted that I liked a lot of their output “in the mid-70s, not so much in the late ’70s, but again in the early ’80s. Without irony.”